“If your tears had a voice what would they say?” – Irvin Yalom.
I have a complicated relationship with tears. There are times I wish to cry and cannot, and times I have summoned up all of my power to hold back tears, yet they form, burning, and I wipe them away as soon as possible. There are times my tears come in a trickle and sometimes they burst forth in sobs. Times I wipe them away and times they are deeply comforting to have on my face. There are times when I hide them from others, and also times when I hope that they are seen.
As a therapist, I find tears to be incredibly dynamic and complex. Some tears come from pain, relief, anger, shame, and joy. Sometimes from all at once!
For a while I have been contemplating the significance of tears. Tears are uniquely human experience. Why, out of all creatures, do humans have tears? Do they come from weakness or strength? And in Christian tradition, why will Jesus wipe every tear from our eyes? Will we...
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." – African Proverb.
Just before my wife and I were engaged she studied abroad for 6 months. About four months in to our time away she mailed me a card with that quote. It resonated with me then, and it resonates with me now.
Especially, every time my family of four, with two young children, gets ready for the day. There is no "fast" when leaving the house!
I often want to move fast, especially when it comes to areas of brokenness in myself. But I've learned over the years that long-term healing comes from inviting others to join with me in my internal journey.
Humans have an innate desire for connection but a propensity towards isolation - particularly when it comes to our internal worlds. Statements such as "I've got to get myself together" or "physician heal thyself" highlight that in our places of pain, shame, or confusion, we tend isolate from others. We are taught (especiall...